Prologue: Aya and I decided to get a dog back in 2018. She seriously started looking for rehoming a puppy that Fall, and I didn’t really think anything of it. It was my first year working full-time so finding a dog wasn’t at the forefront of the laundry list of teacher tasks I was drowning in. She sent postings of shelter pupps, new borns, adoptions, or one’s looking for a new home, but nothing ever came of the phone calls or texts she made. Some were definitely scams—asking us to buy for gift cards electronically and send them over.
After a few months of Aya’s search, she got a call back for tea cup dachshund puppies. We were looking to re-home one of Miso’s brothers at the time, but by the time we met with with the family, they told us Miso had been the last of her litter. So we took her home.
The initial shock for me was huge, in a way that I didn’t react at all. I was happy, but I’d never had a pet outside of goldfish before. I don’t recall how long it took to sink in that I had another life join mine. Aya asked me a handful of times “Are you happy?” and I was, but I don’t think I knew how to react. In my mind, I had already set up that Miso would love Aya more. Aya grew up with dogs, she knows how to take care of one.
I don’t remember exactly when, but there was a moment where Miso showed me affection specifically. That she showed me, “you’re my dad & I love you”.
Getting a puppy with Aya raised a lot of concerns and fears. In any relationship, you go through imbalance—and I was just starting my first year full-time. I didn’t feel like I had my life together to start taking care of another one. I assumed that bringing a puppy into our lives would drive the wedge between us even further. At the beginning it brought more problems to light, but over time, Miso brought us together. And not in a band-aid solution kind of way either. In a way, Miso helped us grow into the adults we are now.
I never really understood the love of a dog. I know I wanted one growing up, but I was actually always afraid of dogs. And most of my interactions were with medium to large dogs. So I thought I was just going to be afraid of the one I was raising.
But the more I cared for her, the more she warmed up to me—eventually learning how time works and when I was supposed to return. Then showing the utmost unconditional love & joy when I came back. If anything, Miso reminded me what it means to love and be loved.
Not everything is perfect. Miso is still learning to live, and that takes patience. Our relationship isn’t perfect, but there isn’t anyone that could replace Aya.
When I reflect on my relationship with Aya—I’ve come to see how our friendship & partnership is only beginning. I have best friends, who I have known close to and over a decade and I’ve had falling outs with them too, but it takes time to get to know anyone to see who they really are. The imbalance I mentioned earlier, it still exists and I don’t think it’s meant to go away. It’s meant to be worked on and grow from. But now I’m seeing how our dedication, love, and commitment to one another is creating the foundation for us to be great puppy parents and young adults.
Both Aya & Miso have taken a big part of my heart. Every day and night is a joy—and every moment is filled with laughs and love. Even when we’re upset at Miso, we’re upset as a team. When we are with one another, we know it takes time to navigate through that, and that our love & commitment towards each other is stronger than the dispute.
Balasbas Says 