Prologue: This past month has been hell. And not because of the students. I don’t know what it is with teachers not knowing how to write emails or communicate in a professional manner. But it’s hella annoying that teachers do not understand how to act in an office/company setting.
The last time I wrote, I was pretty motivated to keep writing. I think I was lifted by the wind of Spring Break. Things were winding down and I finally had a moment to reflect and even celebrate.
But here we are again, feeling burnt out in the final stretch of the school year. I’m not entirely sure if it’s burnout, I think if I was burnt out I’d really want to quit this line of work. I don’t think that I have time to write, but I think it’s time to write and let my emotions “flow down the creek”.
Last time I told you about faculty in my department feeling entitled. Well, that hasn’t changed. If anything, it feel like it’s gotten worse. Handling white fragility or holding space for white people is so exhausting.
As I read their complaints, I try to empathize. From an employee standpoint, it sucks that these teachers feel like the admin isn’t hearing them. But at the same time, do something about the change instead of complaining? Figure out an alternative solution?
In one instance, a teacher in my faculty, who by the way came to my room in August before school started and said,
“Hey man congrats on the position. But I just came here to tell you I’m not coming to any of [your] meetings. You know, it’s just a waste of time”
Cool.
That aside, this same guy doesn’t want to teach English anymore. He’s been complaining about this since I got hired. He only wants to teach AVID. College readiness is great, but there’s no FTE position for just AVID at our school. Let alone there’s more than one AVID teacher and not enough student enrollment to make an FTE position.
The gist of his complaints is that no one is listening to him. That he has a health credential and should be teaching health as well. Even though again, there’s only enough room for one health teacher.
“I also know that I’m burnt out in regards to teaching English, I’ve made it clear, I’ve given a ton to the AVID program and I’ve gone out and gotten a Health Credential – and here I am still teaching 3 periods of ERWC. It’s frustrating…”
Honestly, if you’re that tired of teaching English, then find a position at a non-profit for college readiness? Or find a job elsewhere?
The other issue I have with this teacher is that he voluntarily took on a student teacher (ST). I was glad that he was quick to respond. He is a NBCT (Nationally Board Certified Teacher). A perfect example for someone aspiring to be a teacher. Just in the last few weeks, I found out that he’s really short changed this ST. He’s played hooky on multiple occasions, whether in class or in observations for the ST. With the university supervisor there. My TAs in those classes say he’s super disrespectful to them. And they complain, “he’s burnt out from what? He barely teaches us or is barely around”.
Another one of my teachers cried in the middle of the breezeway. Granted she’s known from crying under pressure. And in an unhealthy way dumps that on her students. But many other students have never seen that if they’re not in her classes.
As our AP Lit teacher, she is very disturbed and upset by the low enrollment for the 22-23 SY. Enrollment in 12th grade European Literature and AP Lit has declined every year since I’ve gotten here. Or if there hasn’t been a decline, they’ve fled to my homie’s sections because they don’t want to be in her class.
This teacher blames the other 12th grade option, the CSU ERWC Expository Writing class I mentioned earlier. It’s practically doubled in size since my site began teaching it. This teacher ridicules the class, that it’s not meant for all seniors. That it’s meant for B & C grade students who need extra prep before going off to college.
But what’s so wrong with students realizing they don’t want another AP class? Or not being interested in AP Lit? Or not taking 2 AP English classes in a row? Realizing that colleges don’t accept more than 1 AP credit? Or that they just think you’re a rude, harsh, condescending, exclusive, and even racist teacher?
I had so many of my past students come to me asking me why she cried. It’s a combination of white fragility and lack of accountability. This teacher questions everything except themself. They listed how hard they work, how dedicated they are. But in the end it just feels like everyone is shitting on them. Especially our admin. That she’s irrelevant to the students today. I mean a lot of that is the reason I was selected as Department Head over this person.
I even received an email that’s almost 1000 words, 2 pages, single spaced, that summarizes that entire conversation without mentioning we discussed next steps. Not that I need her praise in front of the department. But as my coworker put it,
“How is she going to do all that thinking just to miss the point?”
There’s a huge lack of accountability and reflection on this teacher’s part. She always is ready to point the finger at something else except herself. That we need to shift the minds of the students in order for them to start enrolling in regular 12th grade European Literature. Or that everyone in the department has to do something different so it encourages more kids to take her AP Lit class.
Does anyone else see how much easier it would be if one individual changed something about themselves instead of making 18 other teachers change just for that one class?
Epilogue:
It’s April 26th or 27th, 2022. I don’t remember when I wrote what you just read. But I’ve spent the last month on a downward spiral in my mental bandwidth with my staff.
I’m trying to be accommodating. Meeting the needs of my staff and the administration’s expectations (which aligns with a student centered lens).
But I have come to the conclusion that many of my staff are too entitled or selfish to change their schedules for the student enrollment data. And we’re talking classes for English Language learners.
I am willing to take on these sections that need to be filled, but my administration do not want me overwhelmed with my 10th/11th grade classes + being department head. When I have staff that haven’t changed their schedule in decades. Or are doing way less than those giving more of themselves to serve our English Language learners.
It’s honestly been very defeating. I’ve had dozens of meetings in the last month. 1:1’s trying to convince folks to do this for the community. And I get that teachers are already asked to do too much. But man it’s so disappointing to hear people say no for selfish reasons. And not even politely.
Just geniune “My needs aren’t being met” over the student driven data from enrollment.
Thanks for reading this far. Here’s to the last 6 weeks of the semester.
Balasbas Says 